Malon's Obsession

At 27 years and married to this handsome, tall well-built dark African man called Kings. We've been married for two years now. He gave me a three-year ultimatum before I could make up my mind to have a kid. 

Last month his mother and I had a very big difference. We were at her house for dinner. She calls us every Saturday of the beginning of the month for a little celebration and appreciation for life. A tradition that really makes sense. She had prepared several Kenyan dishes from chicken, fish, sour milk and even mokimo. She normally calls her friends and some few neighbors who can keep up with her strict rules. She doesn't let anyone in her house with shoes on, you have to speak after you've swallowed your food, you can't serve several types of food at once in your dish, you have to eat one type of meal at a time.

For the past years, she was good to me and was never strict with me. She believed I was raised differently and without manners. I guess she had to be nice because Kings was and is very defensive when it comes to me. I sat down across her from the dining table. Her few friends and neighbors were enjoying every bit of the night. Her personal chef had really good hands, he definitely knew how to prepare meals! 

" Phy..." she called me, and I looked up. She likes to shorten everyone's name. " Yes ma'am..." I answered with a smile. She always thought I was too serious and rarely smiled. I had to smile every time I talked to her. "Ma' Lisa's daughter in law just delivered twins last night." She referred to one of her friends who was sitting beside her " ...Oh, that's great news! Congratulations Ma' Lisa. "

My mother-in-law looked at me in somewhat disgust, I noticed Kings being uncomfortable beside me. He held one of my hands that was now under the table. I felt a little nervous. "That's not the point Phy, what are you still waiting for? For God's sake! You don't have any fertility problems, you're not sick, are you just scared of being responsible or are you not just into my son and married him for his wealth, money and good time?" I was more than shocked! How could she talk to me like this in front of everyone, especially her guests! I was so angry I pulled my hand away from Kings, " Why don't you find your son a machine to do that for you then? It's not like you can't get one for him. I don't even think I want kids and if he's not okay with that, he can as well file for a divorce!" I snapped, I was so annoyed and irritated, I could not believe she had the guts to talk to me like that. " Get out of my house now! You're not the first woman my son has had and might not even be the last! You have to know you're not special, I wish he had married Cicily instead! If not for her miscarriage Kings would be having a daughter or son now. You have no manners at all. You don't even know how to talk to me in my own house. If my husband was still alive, you'd have gotten the hardest slap on that stupid face. Get out!" She shouted. 

"Mother!" Kings bellowed. I stood up, took the keys from the table, went for my shoes at the door and left to the car barefooted. " Open that damn gate!" I shouted to the security guy. He opened it immediately. I drove off at a very high speed, Kings didn't keep up trying to stop me. I cried the whole time I was driving home. Was that how Kings mom thought of me? How could she embarrass me in front of her friends, some of them even attended our wedding. How could she mention Kings ex who was even married and with kids? Cicily and Kings broke up because she almost took away his life.  She was the one who told me that Cicily was after his money, and this made her turn evil. Is that the person she was now comparing me to? That was so unfair. I arrived home, took a hot shower and went to my safe space. I still cried the whole time in the bathroom. My beautiful view of the flowers and the hills didn't help this time. 

My house has a vast balcony that faces towards the hills. The prettiest view I have ever seen. My father had recommended it to me since he knew how much I loved nice views. He also helped in planting the flowers in my garden. It looked like paradise. There's a library that leads to the balcony, I sit here reading books, sometimes writing journals and other short stories. I have never thought of publishing any yet, but I blog once in a while. I thought of calling my father and telling him everything but didn't because I know him well. He would overreact and cause such a big drama I didn't want that happening. 

I sat down, watched my garden and the hills until I fell asleep. When I woke up. I found myself in bed. Kings must have carried me. He wasn't asleep and heard me stir up. I was facing towards the window. He grabbed me closer and whispered, " Are you okay, do you want to talk about it?". I ignored him and went back to sleep. Whatever his mother said didn't leave my mind the whole following week. I started working out, meditating in my safe space and writing more, I also worked some more since my work was mostly from home. I was already doing fine. I wondered why Kings mother never apologized after this whole time. It didn't bother me, I just thought about it. 

On a Friday, my brother-in-law Jammie came to visit. Kings was not at home. It was just almost lunch, and I had prepared a light snack. I made banana pancakes, prepared it with some yoghurt and fruit salad. I also warmed some fries that remained from last night and was frying some eggs when my bell rang. I had on my fluffy house slippers, a short floral dotted dress, and had let my locs down after washing my hair this morning. I went and opened the door. " Aaah Jammie, hello, I wasn't expecting you this soon. " He pulled me into a tight hug, it always made me uncomfortable when he hugged me like this every time he was from abroad. It was never a normal hug, a long and slightly tight one. We were never that close and that's why I felt like this. 

"Surprise, ha-ha. How have you been? Why do you always smell so nice!? Hehe. You've grown thicker too. " He said, sizing me up. "...shut up," I smiled and led him in. We had our lunch, and he told me that he had arrived a week before. His mother never told me this. Even Kings! I had been giving Kings the cold shoulder and most of the times he would come back and find me asleep or not wanting to talk at all. Jammie never mentioned anything about his mother, and I came to a conclusion that he had been told what had happened already. Later before he left, he gave me a present. A gold bracelet. " Thank you, Jammie,". I thanked him. He always brought me gifts every time he was from the US. An act that Kings was never okay with but pretended to appreciate anyway. 

Two months had now passed, and Kings and I were growing more apart.  Yesterday he came home and hugged me. It was long since he did this. I was sitting in the living room watching a documentary show. I noticed red lipstick on his shirt. There was some on his collar and other several places on his shirt.  My heart sank. He had found someone else already. I didn't sleep much last night and this disturbed me. Was he already cheating on me? Had his mom really found him a mistress? Did he want a divorce now?   Something that never bothered me before now did. I knew it was my fault. I had been so hard on him and pushed him away from me every time. I wasn't going to do anything about it. It hurt me but I loved myself more and incase he wanted someone else, so be it. 

He went to work early today. He would tell me where he was going every day not being sure if I heard or not. I heard him every morning but never answered. In the past before all this disagreement we would talk about it at night, sometimes in the morning when he prepared breakfast. I heard him tell me about a new company he was opening with Jammie, they had merged. I didn't answer him. 

I woke up from my bed in good spirits. Took a hot shower, I wore a tight light blue long stretchy silk dress that had a slit up to my hips. I put on earrings and a necklace that my father had bought me as a present for my 27th birthday, and pretty black sandals that matched my nude pink polished nails. I wore my favorite Fenty perfume and mixed it with Queen body splash. I smelled like the beautiful flowers in my garden. I applied some mascara and added eyeshadow plus light makeup and completed the look with red lipstick. I let my locs down. I felt so pretty! Of course I am!. I went to my garden, picked some flowers and hummed a sweet melody for the flowers in the garden. 

I put the flowers I had picked in a pot on a table in my balcony almost near the library, made a smoothie and picked a book to read; Deep Waters by Jayne Krentz. I was so deep into reading this romantic novel that I didn't hear or notice Kings come in. I felt a strong hand lightly stoke the back of my neck, he turned my chair towards him, grabbed my neck and kissed me deeply! " You smell so nice baby; I've missed you so much. " He stood me up and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe! I still had the novel in my hand. He took it and placed it on the table, picked me up and took me to our bedroom. I didn't resist him. 

He placed me on the bed and started kissing me until I was out of breath, he ran his hands on my thighs, his hands were cold, my thighs were warm... '' I've missed you baby..." he moaned biting my ears and caressing my breasts. " I missed you too" I answered almost out of breath. I went for his belt and took it off of him, I unzipped his trousers, he pulled away from me and took all of his clothes off. I looked at his well curved six packs, his thin waistline, down! And looked into his almond shaped beautiful eyes. " Babe", I whispered. He pulled up my dress and took it off. I had a red brazier and matched it with a red thong. " Oh my!" He said as he took them off too. He ran his hands on my locs and stared deeply into my eyes and dived! Devoured me like a lion until I passed out! I had missed this side of us.

When I woke up, he pulled me into his chest, " I don't want us disagreeing like this ever again baby. I almost lost my mind. I thought you didn't want me anymore and each day it broke my heart. " He whispered. " Mom apologized, I just didn't know how to tell you since you were always in a bad mood. I advised her not to talk to you for a while until it was emotionally safe for you..." He went on. "Okay," I answered in low sleepy voice.  " Just, okay...?" He asked stroking my thighs.  " Can I ask you something Kings?" I tried to pull away from him, but he grabbed me even closer. " Yes baby, but don't move away from me, I want it like this"... He said softly. " Are you cheating on me?", I asked my voice trembling. He smiled and pulled me away from his chest, he safely put my head on a pillow and butt naked went and fetched his phone from the balcony. He came back on the bed, pulled me closer and  back on his chest. He opened his phone and showed me a video of Jammie applying lipstick and kissing the collar of his shirt and several places on his hands. They were laughing so hard. Jammie then came for the phone and ended the video. The date showed that it was recorded yesterday. 

"Seriously? What's this?" I asked shocked at how childish they were. " I told Jammie about us and how I felt, he came up with this idea and I guess it worked ha-ha, I would do anything to not lose you Phy. I never want to lose you. Never!" He said in a serious tone. " What if I get tired of you and want someone else?" I asked jokingly. " He made me look up to his face, he then kissed me on the lips deeply, then on my neck, caressed my face and looked into my eyes, " I'd end him Phy, you're mine, just mine alone!" I always shuddered every time he said this. This wasn't the first time he said it. He had said it severally. One time when his brother Jammie had joking said, " If you were gone now old man, passed on, I'd definitely marry this angel ha-ha". He was not pleased by what his younger brother had told him. " I'm not old, 37 is not old and you're not young either! You're 32 years surely. " He defended himself." Phy's still way younger bro ha-ha, just joking old man. " Jammie went on to hurt his brother's feelings. Later that night he had asked if I thought he was old. I laughed and answered, " No you're not, your brother likes to joke a lot. You know him already, more than I do."

He had given me a long look and said, " You're my baby! Just mine and can never be anyone else's". I had laughed it off but as we went on in our marriage, he mentioned it often! What if one day I slipped and liked some other guy? What if I mistakenly had a fling? What would really happen. What if one day he saw how his brother hugged me? Is it right that I tell him about the gifts he had brought me without knowing? Is it right if I told him that most of the conversations Jammie had with me weren't appropriate and made me uncomfortable? What would happen to their relationship?  I brushed the idea of telling on his brother at all. I couldn't watch them fall apart!